“Wait, go back. I wanna watch that,” she says.
I flip backwards channel-wise. “Which?”
“The thing with the elephants.”
“Nature?” I say with a bored groan.
“What’s wrong with nature?”
“Nature is boring.”
“You’re boring. Go back.”
We start watching the elephants. The narrator informs us that one of the females is in heat. A bull elephant, engorged, mounts the female and penetrates her in close-up detail.
“Ew, you can turn it now,” she says.
“I thought you wanted to watch this.”
“Yeah, I did before it turned into elephant porn.”
I laugh. “Well I think it’s interesting. Look at that. Whoa baby!”
“Shut up! Turn it off!”
“Okay, okay. Jesus.” I turn to something neutral.
Something tells me this relationship isn’t going to work.