Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Guys


New guy: “So, what’s she like?”

Guy with cane: “She fucken sucks, dude. You’re in for a long fucken day. I’m not even bullshitting you.”

AA guy: “I just don’t see eye to eye with her.”

New guy: “Uh-huh.”

AA guy: “I told my case-worker, we’re gonna butt heads. Know what I mean? That’s just all there is to it. We don’t see eye to eye.”

Guy with cane: “She’s trying to tell us child molesters can be rehabilitated. Bullshit.”

New guy: “Really?”

Guy with cane: “Yeah. And I’m like, no fucken way. You can’t rehabilitate them people. The only way to rehabilitate `em is with a fucken bullet to the head.”

New guy: “Uh-huh.”

Guy with cane: “But that’s just me, that’s how I grew up. I’m from Southie. We don’t fuck around where I’m from.”

AA guy: “I told my sponsor some of the shit she was saying and he almost choked on his sandwich.”

New guy: “Like what?”

AA guy: “Like, when you wanna drink, give it thirty minutes and if you still feel like drinking, go ahead and drink. What the fuck is that? A half an hour? That’s bullshit. I relapsed after nineteen fucking years of sobriety and she’s tellin’ me to give it half an hour? Bullshit!”

Guy with cane: “Where I grew up in Southie it wasn’t unusual to find body parts in trash bags.”

New guy: “Wow.”

Guy with Cane: “Yeah. I’m not even shittin’ you. You’d find bodies of guys behind alleys. Guys who fucked up. Oh yeah. Big time.”

AA guy: “She says we have to do this alone. I’m like, hey lady, without AA and my sponsor, I can’t do this. Okay? I admit it, I’m weak. I’m scared. But when she said that, I said, Know what? Fuck you. FUCK YOU, bitch.”

Old guy: “Don’t listen to these guys. She’s not all that bad.”

Guy with cane: “What’re you talkin’ about? You actually like that bitch?”

Old guy: “I’m just saying she’s not that bad. The kid hasn’t even met her yet, let him make up his own mind.”

AA guy: “So you agree with the shit she says?”

Old guy: “Not everything. I eat the meat and spit out the bones.”


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