Friday, December 12, 2014

Five Dead




1. When they found Danny Thomas dead on February 4th, his piss-soaked pants had frozen to the sidewalk and they had to peel him off the pavement, his legs stiff as sticks.


2. They found Hugh Beaumont living in an abandoned building on Suffolk Street. His left junkie arm was infected and had turned gangrenous from dirty puddle-water and third-and-fourth generation needles. Discovered during a meth-binge, it took five police officers to bring him down.


3. Robert Young, while sleeping off a bottle of Fleischmann’s whiskey in an alley, was set aflame by a gang of youths. They poured lighter fluid on his moldy old coat. He was found an hour later, still ablaze. A homeless, schizophrenic woman named Jane Wyatt crouched by his body, warming herself on his smoldering corpse.


4. Ozzie Nelson was shot by officers after running amok in Times Square with a BB gun. He put out a child’s eye. Police put Ozzie down like a rabid dog, dumping twenty-three bullets on him. The autopsy revealed high levels of PCP in his system.


5. They found Donna Reed sitting dead in a rocking chair, her corpse half-eaten by her thirteen cats. The coroner reported she’d been dead about seven months.

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