Thursday, July 30, 2015

Flotsam & Tissue




I'm stranded in an area so rural, so remote, that I don’t recognize any of the product brands on the shelves of the general store (the only store). Healey’s Dead Duck Potato Chips? Ripped Suture Root Beer? Barbara Lemieux’s Sugar-Therapy Donuts? Cause-of-Death Hot Sauce? A whole line of Vulture-Stain condiments (no relish, but seven different kinds of ketchup). Fibromitosis Mixed Nuts. Abe Lincoln’s Corpse brand beef jerky. Raw Sewage Coffee (with crystals!). And Dead Baby Sunflower Seeds.
     The name of the milk is so bizarre, grotesque, disturbing and tragic I can’t bring myself to mention it. Let alone drink it.

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