I like monkeys!
I
Tommy remained in bed, determined
to enjoy the morning. Incense and
Peppermints was on the radio. Tommy felt the acid he’d dropped starting to
take effect; a nervous tingling in his bowels. Why did acid always make him
want to shit?
Herman tapped on the window.
Tommy raised the screen.
“Hey man,” Herman said. “You
score?”
“Yeah. What you need?”
“Six.”
Tommy sold Herman six tabs of
Arte Johnson acid.
“You try it yet?” Herman asked.
“Just started coming on.”
“Cool. Catch you later.”
(Later...)
Tommy ran to the bathroom, seated
himself and crapped a squirming school of purple polliwogs.
II
Ivan was a large man who dominated the dinner table.
“Pass the rolls,” he said. A command, not a request.
His eldest son, Lebedev passed him a basket of rolls.
Around the table sat Ivan’s children; Yevgeny, Mitya,
Fyodor, Parfyon, Nastasya, Kolya, Lebedev, Ippolit and Lizaveta.
Across from him sat his wife, Veronka. Veronka said, “I have
news, husband. I’m with child again.”
Ivan coughed and a shred of roast-beef launched from his
throat and landed in Veronka’s eye.
“Ow! Ew!” she cried.
Ivan laughed heartily. “Now you can SEE how overdone the
beef is!”
Another food fight had begun.
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