Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Aphasiac Chat

Leo Gorcey is my copilot.



“Before we start – I’m sorry, toots - what’s your name again?”


“Beekeeper.”


“Okay, Mavis. I just want to tell you that I’m not gonna talk about my marriage. Y’know. To you-know-who...”


“Banana?”


“Because I’m not here to provide material for the gossip rags. It’s nobody’s goddamn business. Hedda Hopper can go pound sand up her ass – pardon my French.”


“Dishwasher savings.”


“I know she’s dead. It was a figure of speech.”


“Clinical sergeant trombone.”


“Good. Thank you. By the way, you look really nice in that outfit. Those colors really bring out the green in your eyes.”


“Puff. Hazard bakingsoda.”


“Okay. Shoot.”